The following is Charles Haddon Spurgeon's own account of his conversion. Taken from his sermon preached March 31st 1861.
I had been for years as a child in secret the prey of the most desponding feelings. One thought had crushed me. I was a sinner and God was angry with the wicked every day. I began to pray, prayer gave me no comfort, but made my burden more heavy. I read the Bible, the Bible was full of threats to me. I could find no promises there. I attended the house of God constantly but I never knew from all the preaching that I heard what I must do to be saved. My eyes were blind and my soul ignorant.
I heard a practical preacher, but what was the use of practice. It was like teaching a man to march who had no feet. I heard the Law thundered but it was not thunder that I wanted—but notes of mercy. I hope that no creature ever had more intense and awful sorrow of heart than I under conviction of sin—feelings which I
studied to conceal from all—and I was thought to be dull and idle because I had little heart for anything. As I have said before, I prayed daily and constantly but my groans seemed to be reverberated from a brazen Heaven and God gave no mercy to
me. It might have been so to this day if it had not been for the purpose and Providence of God which prevented me from going to my usual place of worship and compelled me to turn into a little Primitive Methodist chapel.
Now that day was so snowy that there were very few people there and the minister did not come. I think he was snowed up. But they found out some poor man, a local preacher and he was put into the pulpit. Blessed be God. Blessed be God for that poor local preacher. He read his text. It was as much as he could do. The text was, “Look unto Me and be you saved all the ends of the earth.” He was an ignorant man, he could not say much, he was obliged to keep to his text. Thank God for that. He began,
“Look, that is not hard work. You need not lift your hand, you do not want to lift your finger. Look, a fool can do that. It does not need a wise man to look. A child can do that. You don’t need to be full grown to use your eyes. Look, a poor man may do that, no need of riches to look. Look—how simple—how simple.” Then he went on, “Look unto Me. Do not look to yourselves, but look to Me, that is, Christ. Do not look to God the Father to know whether you are elected or not, you shall find that out afterwards, look to Me. Look to Christ. Do not look to God the Holy Spirit to know whether He has called you or not. That you shall discover by-and-by. Look unto Jesus Christ.” And then he went on in his own simple way to put it thus—“Look unto Me. I am sweating great drops of blood for you. Look unto Me, I am scourged
and spit upon. I am nailed to the Cross. I die. I am buried. I rise and ascend. I am pleading before the Father’s Throne and all this for you.”
Now that simple way of putting the Gospel had enlisted my attention and a ray of light had poured into my heart. Stooping down, he looked under the gallery and said—“Young man, you are very miserable.” So I was, but I had not been accustomed
to be addressed in that way. “Ah,” he said, “and you will always be miserable if you don’t do as my text tells you. That is, look unto Christ.” And then he called out, with all his might, “Young man, look! In God’s name look and look now.”
I did look, blessed be God! I know I looked then and there. And he who but that minute ago had been near despair, had the fullness of joy and hope. And that instant he who was ready to destroy himself could have stood up there and then to—
“Sing of Him, whose pardoning blood had washed sins away.”
